RussiaXReader: Broken Angel 23 FINAL

To make up for your unusual behavior, you've spent the past few days hanging out with Ivan as much as you could. It was as if everyday were his birthday, until you noticed that Christmas in Russia was right around the corner.

Five days before Ivan's birthday, you and him were invited to a Christmas party back in America. Although you two didn't go, you got quite an interesting invitation card of Alfred and some alien in Hawaii, you assumed, wearing leis and grass skirts. It was like a stereotypical Christmas card, except not. Not at all.

Currently munching on some goldfish and staring into space out the window, you've been contemplating on an original gift to present with. You could already guess his huge ass house gets filled to the brim with vodka bottles and sunflowers. You felt it was only fair to give him something special, considering your guys' relationship and all.

Still chewing your fishy crackers, you hadn't noticed Ivan stroll in, "Son of a bitch…" you cursed, "I don't even know what he likes besides vodka and sunflowers,"

"I like you, da?"

You nearly fell out of the chair, "GAH! I-Ivan?!" you gasped. Clutching your heart, you even spilled some goldfish, "h-how long have you been there?"

"Long enough," he giggled, "I suppose it's safe to assume you know my Christmas is coming up."

" Your Christmas?"

"Da, Russian Christmas, I am Russia, therefore, my  Christmas." You squinted but didn't pursue it.

"Anyways, is there anything you especially want to do that day?"

"Make lo-"

"Alright," you cut him off, "so nothing? That's easy, okay, bye." You attempted to fast walk out of the room when he caught your wrist.

"Why not?" Ivan whined, "We've only done it, like, two times!"

"Ivan! I swear to god, do not just go around exclaiming those things!" You pulled at the bear trap Ivan called a hand on your wrist.

"Why not?" he pestered yet again, this time throwing in his big, adorable eyes.

"Y-you can't make me!" 'Shit! He already pulled out the big guns,' "Ivan, if you force me to do anything against my will, sexually, it is a felony!"

"Remember, моя помадка, it isn't rape if you yell surprise butt sex, da?"

"Where did you learn that?!" you paused, "If you say Fra-"

"France."

"I fucking knew it!! Never listen to what he has to say, Ivan! Ever!"

"Okay," he obliged, "only if you give me what I want for Christmas."

You stared at him in unbelievable bewilderment, "Really?! You're actually gonna use such childish tactics?!"

"[____]," He chuckled, "I always get what I want."

"You. Manchild."

"Please? Please? Please? Plea-?"

"Just wait until Christmas! I bet I can find something better!" You exclaimed then used the moment to escape. "You'll see!" Ivan heard the front door open then close.

"Oh [____], nothing is better than you."

Your face felt like it was gonna melt, you were blushing so hard. 'That perv! I am so kicking France's ass later…' you stormed down the sidewalk into town to look for something awesomer than Gilbert to give Ivan.

You passed by a young boy and his mother, slowing down when you saw him point at you, he spoke in a hushed voice but was clearly mentioning something about your face, the mother only shook her head in a pitying manner and tugged her son along. You frowned but continued walking until you came across a rather reflective window, 'Ah, it must have been this,' you reached and just barely let the tips of your finger brush it, your scar.

You scowl and look away from your reflection, but your lips soon curled into a cruel smile as you chuckled bitterly. 'Whatever.' You continued window-shopping through random shops, occasionally having to see yourself in the window once more.

"Tch, I'm getting nowhere…" you grumbled, as you continued to gripe the wind picked up and blew a rather cold gust in your face, "Shit that's cold," ducking and facing away from the breeze, you opened your eyes for them only to be met by familiar amethyst orbs. "AH!" You jumped back in surprise, "I-Ivan…?" you focused your pupils on who the beautiful
irises belonged to.

"A-a cat?" You looked up and noticed that you stood before a small pet shop. Raising an eyebrow to this, you stepped in with curiosity; a small bell jingled as you entered and
the door closed behind you.

Just like any other pet shop, this one had all sorts of pets, from amphibians to reptiles to rodents to dogs and to cats. You wandered over to the cat section, where some were in stacked kennels or on display at the window. The large feline with similar eyes as Ivan had followed you from its place before to where you stood; the only thing that stood in between you two was a low glass window-like wall.

Everything about the cat reminded you of Ivan. He was much larger than all the others, his nose bigger, and he looked like a bit cat with a kitten-like mind. You gave the animal a small smile which made it expression seem to light up as he jumped up and placed his round paws on the glass, as if to get closer to you.

You smirked to yourself, 'Ah, guys like cats right? Much better than Christmas se-'

"Miss?"

You were snapped out of your thoughts by the voice directed to you, "Y-yes?"

"Are you looking into adopting that cat?" The shopkeeper asked.

You glanced down at Ivan's clone, cat clone, "Yeah, I guess am."

The man nodded, reached over, and snatched the cat up, "All right. Come with me please."

After going through a Bible's worth of paper work and discussing the necessary requirements for owning the cat, he was placed into a kennel and handed to you. "Thank you for your adoption and I hope all goes well." Said the shopkeeper as you shook his hand and left.

'Hopefully this will go better than expected…'




January 7th, Russia's Christmas.

"[____]! [____]! Wake up!"
You groaned as you felt the bed rock and creak, Ivan's voice full of excitement filled the room as he shook you with a little too much force. "Hm?" you managed to grunt.

"It's Christmas, da? So wake up!"

You shot him a death glare but cooperated. Sitting up, you stretched and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, "Oh yeah…"

After your little last second adoption decision, you've been secretly concealing the animal from Ivan. It was tricky, and he almost caught you a few times, but you managed to hide it away in time for the holiday.

Taking your hand and dragging you downstairs, Ivan hummed joyfully and led you into the front room. The room was beautifully decorated with stereotypical Christmas ornaments and such, there was a huge tree that you and Ivan had decorated a few days ago and the overall environment was rather festive.

Shuffling your feet across the room and taking your place at the couch, your eyes red with drowsiness, you glanced around the room curiously, "I thought Belarus and Ukraine would be here?"

"Нет, they are surprisingly busy." Ivan replied with a little too much enthusiasm.

You nodded "Right, well then," you stood and headed for the door, "I'll be right back." Wandering out of the room, you frowned and brought a finger up to the bridge of your nose, 'Shit…. Where did I put that damn cat?'

Waiting patiently back in the room, Ivan fiddled your gift and smiled, 'I hope she likes it.' He sighed and quietly hummed to himself once more.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap….. CRAP!" At the moment, you were running frantically about the house searching for a certain Siberian kitty. 'I can't believe I forgot where I put it!!' Rummaging through every closet and room you passed by, the familiar, slightly chubby, furball was not seen.

Returning back to the front room in defeat, you nearly fell over at the sight. For in the room, Ivan remained in the same place, innocently smiling at you, but behind him stood the rotund feline, crouched down into a playful position directed at the Christmas tree.

"Oh god…" were the words you managed to whisper before the cat leapt and clung smack-dab in the middle of the pine tree. You could only watch in horror as the weight began to make it sag and a dark shadow loomed over Ivan.

The conifer tumbled down with a deafening 'thunk' directly on top of Ivan. Followed by many sounds of shattering caused by the round glass ornaments, cheap glass littered the floor, the star that was once placed so elegantly atop had skidded to the other side of the room and lain with a crack in it's form.

Pine needles were everywhere.

That was an understatement.

You could no longer see the lavish red of the carpet. Just pine needles.

You noticed one of Ivan's hands sticking out from under the evergreen.

"Ack! Ivan!" You scrambled over to the ligament and reached under, your hands trying to feel the bark of the tree. Successfully finding the trunk, you lifted with ease and found Ivan sprawled on the ground, not moving.

"Way to go [____], it's not like you just fucked up Christmas or any thing…" you grumbled to yourself. You pulled Ivan off the floor and threw him on the couch, still clutching his present with the other hand.

You heard a branch of the tree rustle behind you and a soft tail brush your legs. Bending down and picking up the culprit, he mewled in protest and attempted to wriggle from your grasp. "Oh hell no!" you growled, "I will not let you destroy anything else," clearly the animal was not amused but stopped to pout.

Sighing, you walked over and sat down beside Ivan, your chin resting on the top of Russia-cat's head. You watched Ivan's relaxed face with content, occasionally brushing his bangs from his forehead.



Ivan stirred and groaned, opening one eye after the other, a sharp, dull pain in the back of his head. He winced but felt an unfamiliar weight on his abdomen, looking down he found a cat that resembled himself in many different ways.

"Y-you're…. finally… awake…!" Ivan turned his head and came face to face with you.
From the looks of it, he was gonna go ahead and say he was out for probably a long period of time, judging by how red and dried out your eyes looked, not to mention the faint dark
circles.

Grabbing the collar of shirt, you brought his face very close to yours, "Do you have any idea how long you've been sleeping?"

Ivan's eyes widened, "Heh, no I don't… But I'm awake now, da?"

Releasing him, you resumed back to sitting and crossed your arms, still with an annoyed expression written all over your face. "Well, uh, I," you bowed your head in shame, "I apologize for what happened! It was all my fault!" You spoke fast and your words were all jumbled together but the message got across somewhat.

"What are you talking about? What… happene…d.." Ivan's words dropped off at the end as he saw the scene behind you.

You managed to clean up a majority of the pine needles, but the tree still lay on its side, branches splayed everywhere, there was cheap ornament glass yet to be cleaned up, some wall decorations had fallen and crumpled, the star, now placed on the coffee table, had a large and wide crack in it, and of course, the cat took a piss on the carpet.

Ivan slowly got up and walked all the way around the room, surveying the damage, his hair bobbing up and down in sync with his steps.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!..." you on the other hand, bowed at an inhumanely speed with your hands on your knees, apologizing over and over, anticipating the storm yet to come. 'The roles have changed drastically in just a few moments!"

Still caught in your thoughts, you began to hear faint chuckles that soon turned into light laughter. Glancing up slightly, you saw Ivan holding his head with a hand and smiling to himself.

"Ah… I knew this kind of thing would happen…" he sighed and faced you, "thank you, [____], it's been a long time since I've truly laughed like that. I think people take it for granted that they can have a good laugh, da?"

'What? He didn't even laugh that hard…? I don't even…'

"And so," you watched as Ivan made his way back to you, crouching down on one knee while his hand rested on your own. "I want to always be with you and share laughs with you, and spend time together all the time…"

No

"So I thought that this would be a suitable gift…"

Stop. Don't do this to me

Ivan reached over and grabbed his gift from the couch; it was small and thinly wrapped with tissue paper and a ribbon.

"[____],"

"Y-yes?"

"Will you please grant me the honor and privilege of being your husband and поженитесь я?"


Sweat, baby, sweat, sex is a Texas drought me

And you do the kind of stuff only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pa-

"Verdammt! Bruder! Answer your phone already!!" Ludwig threw down his newspaper and glared at his older brother.

Gilbert smirked and stopped dancing to his obnoxious ring tone, "Ja, ja, you always were a party pooper West, you know that?" he shoved a hand into his jacket pocket and flipped open his black cell phone, "You've reached the one and only awesome me!"

The wild Prussia stood in silence, only listening, this is a rare sight to see coming from such a wild species.

"WAS?!!!"

"Gott verdammt! Raus hier!" Ludwig roared in response to Gilbert's with out warning exclaim.

"Shut up West! I'm leaving!" Gilbert stalked out of the room with Gilbird following close behind. He took a deep breath, "Okay, okay, [___], calm down, I can barely understand you." Waiting patiently for the quick, shallow breaths to die down on the other line, Gilbert stepped outside and took a seat on their front steps.

"I-I-I-Iv-va-n, p-p-p-proposed t-to me…"

"Und?"

You tensed up and looked down at your left hand, "I said yes."

"What?! Really?! That's good, right? You're happy, right?"

You bit your lip and hesitated, "Of course I am, but…"

"But…?" Gilberts eyebrows furrowed, 'This doesn't sound good.' He then heard heavy footsteps sound through his phone.

"Ah! Ivan's coming! I'll be over at your place soon!" And with that, their call was disconnected. Gilbert stared at the blank screen, blinking, Gilbird flew tight circles
around his head, as if expressing Gilbert's feelings through… flight.

Frowning, he leaned his head down and supported it with a hand. "Why do I have such a bad feeling about this…?" he whispered.

You arrived shortly in Germany the next day, engaged and all.

Ludwig answered the door, "Oh, guten tag [___], have you come here to see mein bruder?"

"Uh, yeah," you were still a little timid being around the intimidating German, but you knew he had a soft side, especially for Feliciano.

"Ja, he's downstairs in the basement."

"Thanks." Shyly stepping into the simple yet bleach-clean house, you quickly found your way downstairs and popped your head into the basement. Gilbert sat on his bed peacefully, practicing guitar.

"Hey, Gil."

He looked up and grinned, "[___]! What's up? Let me see the ring!"

You rolled your eyes but held out your hand nonetheless. Gilbert's smile grew wider as he ogled the jewelry, "Not bad frau."

You couldn't help but agree, Ivan told you it was passed down to him from a certain Czarina he favored.

You gave a distant look down at your finger and Gilbert noticed right away, "Hey, [___]? Are you all right?" Snapping out of your longing gaze, you gave a lopsided smile.

"Yes and no."

"That's what you said before! What's wrong? Is it Russia?"

"What?! No, no! It's not Ivan! It's… it's me."

"[____], tell me, what's going on?"

You frowned and slumped your shoulders, "Gilbert, I need your help with something."

Confused, he complied and nodded his head, "s-sure, anything, I guess? What is it?"

You felt your eyes all of a sudden grow dry and tired; your throat lacked the words to explain. "Okay, thank you, first of all, but I need to tell you some background history."

"Ja, do you want a beer?"

"Hm? Oh, no, just sit." Directing him to the comfy armchair he kept in his room, you took the small couch. "Alright, where to start…"




Another three weeks passed, and the dreaded day had approached.

"And you're absolutely sure you want to go through with this?" Gilbert questioned once more for the hundredth time.

"Yeah, I have to."

You and Gilbert were driving back to Ivan's house, after you two spent the day going over what to say to him.

It was late evening and, of course, there was a harsh blizzard outside. You fidgeted with your hands, unsure about everything at the moment, but turning back was not an option.
'I have to go through with this. No matter what.'

Getting out of the car, you took your time entering the house with Gilbert close behind. You swallowed thickly as you approached Ivan's study, took Gilbert's hand in your own, and knocked lightly. "I-Ivan?"

"Da? [___]? Are you back from that idiotic Prussian's home already?"

Gilbert growled at this but you squeezed his hand, and opened the door slightly, "Actually Ivan, there's something you and I need to talk about."

Glancing up from his paperwork, Ivan sat at his desk with papers stacked so high they seemed like mini skyscrapers. The computer light reflected off his face, showing just how weary he was growing.

Ivan eyed your and Gilbert's intertwined hands but didn't interrogate just yet, your head reeled as you wanted to snatch it away and say it was nothing.

"Might I ask why he is here?" Ivan glared with harsh malice while Gilbert returned the stare. You knew they've hated each other for a long time now, which is why Gilbert is the perfect guy for this opportunity, knowing he wouldn't care if Ivan hated him more.

Your grip tightened, thinking over everything you've rehearsed, "He's here because I asked him to come with me."

"Oh yeah?

"Yeah, do you know why?"

"No, I do not."

"Because," you sucked in a sharp breath, "I love him." You lied.

Ivan's eyes wavered, smile faltering, and his face lost some color, "I'm afraid I don't understand." His gaze moved from you to the man behind you, "what the hell did you do?"

"Russia. Focus on me, not Gilbert." Flinching at the sound of you call him by his country name, you returned his attention back on you.

'What's going on? Never has [___] ever called me… by my country name…'

Seconds ticked by before you spoke up again.

"Russia, I don't… I don't love you anymore." The words tasted so bitter as they left your mouth, everything felt so wrong.

Ivan rose from his chair but didn't take any steps.

"This whole relationship was a mistake…"

He placed both of his hands of on his desk.

"…I never should have been with you."

And with one swift motion, he swiped everything off- papers fluttered everywhere, pens and pencils scattered the ground, and all the small little knickknacks smashed to the floor.

You and Gilbert both flinched and grew inferior to the large male coming your way, you and Ivan locked eyes.

SMACK!

Your cheek throbbed as Ivan's hand connected with it; though the sting of the slap wasn't even comparable to the ache in your heart.

"Скажите мне правду."

"Я не люблю вас."

He raised his hand again and brought it down, you waited for the impact with closed eyes but felt nothing. Cracking open an eye, you saw Gilbert had caught Ivan's hand and now they were meshed into a staring contest. But this one was much more heated, the once powerful nation against the nation that brought him down.

"Gilbert, let go, it's all ri-"

"Nein, [___], it isn't." He retorted with out looking at you.

Ivan snatched his hand away and turned, back facing you, and strode back to the
front of his desk.

"Russia, just-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Just like back when he first met Katsu in the park with you,
he slammed a fist down onto the fine oak and splintered it in half.
"Don't fucking call me that again!" Whipping his head back around, you felt yet another horrible pang in your heart, Ivan was in practically in tears. His eyes widened as he watched you bring up your left hand and released Gilbert's, taking a shaky breath; you slid the engagement ring off your finger, stepped over to Ivan and placed it in his palm.

"I'm calling the wedding off." As you took back your own hand, your fingers brushed against the sunflower patch on the breast of his jacket. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from bursting out into tears.

You quickly pivoted on your heel and rushed out of the room, leaving them alone.
Gilbert didn't dare look at Ivan's face any more; he stared at his feet and ignored the soreness in his hand. He heard soft chuckling but still kept his business with the ground, he had heard that cruel laugh before.

"Kolkolkolkolkol…"

Gilbert shut his eyes and was glad he left Gilbird in the car.

"So," Gilbert tentatively peeped an eye and nearly had a heart attack. Ivan was a mere
inches from him, towering and menacing as always. "What's your secret? I would just love to hear it." His sarcastic tone and stance was unpredictable, the way he held himself was like a snake, poised and ready to strike but his arms lay slack at his sides. Gilbert felt sick to his stomach.

"What did you do?" He grabbed Gilbert by the collar and drove him up the wall, eyes were like a crazed animal, wild and furious. "Answer me! What the fuck did you do to [___]?! Huh?!

"What's so great about you?!-SLAM! Why are you so god damn special?!-SLAM!" Each phrase, Ivan would bring him back from the wall only to ram him back in. Gilbert grunted and his face was a sickly pale, yet he refused to speak.

"Talk damn it! Is this out of revenge?! Did you take her from me because this is your away of getting back at me?!" Ivan's shouting only made Gilbert more stoic and uncomfortable,

"What is it? What do you want? Money? To be recognized again?" He threw another punch, this time aimed at the dry wall, effortlessly making a gaping hole.

Gilbert's faded irises finally summed up the courage to meet Ivan's glowering amethysts, "If only you knew." His voice came out a raspy whisper, his fists clenched, wanting to beat sense into Ivan so badly.

"What was that?" Said Russian leaned in close and his look darkened, "what did you just say? Know what?"

Slapping his hands away and dropping to his feet, Gilbert was on the verge of snapping, "You don't know shit, yet you talk shit. You think everything is revolved around you," Gilbert couldn't even bear the thought of how you must be feeling now.

Gilbert took a step out the door when a vibration in his phone stopped him, pulling out his phone, he saw it was a message from an unknown number, frowning he opened it but regretted it immediately.

Gil,

Thanks. For everything, you really are awesome.

I owe you one.

-[___]

Gilbert placed a hand over his mouth and hastily stumbled out of the house, he couldn't hold back the tears any longer and let them flood down his face. 'Damn it…' he didn't know whether to vomit or simply weep to the point where he could weep no more. 'Its been a long time since I've cried like this… Oh [____], you might've been the only one that could compare to my awesomeness.'

Back inside, Ivan returned to his desk and stared at nothing. Resting a hand on his desk, it held something very dear to him

His heart.

Ivan didn't want it anymore. Not if it was just going to make him sad and hurt, the scars on his neck didn't even come close to the lacerations on his heart. And he could feel another coming from the traumatic scene that just played out.  

Ivan considered throwing the organ into some snow, to make it cold and indestructible against times like these.

'Come back [___], please. Don't leave me alone…' nobody but himself could hear these sad pleas as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

'Please…'



After hurrying out of the study, you ran upstairs to your old bedroom. Grabbing your necklace by the pendant, you tore it off your neck, snapping the string; you flung it at the bed.

The moment you set foot out of Ivan's house, it felt like nothing was real. The snow swirling around you felt like a dream, you couldn't tell if your vision was cloudy or if that was the blizzard, the only thing you could hear were your foot steps, crunching in the snow, each step away from Ivan was another bitter jab to chest.

You could hear Ivan's yells at Gilbert and felt the need to go back and set things straight, but you couldn't. Or else everything would've been for nothing.

Everything happened in a blur, you remember only fragments. With the biting wind blowing snow into your face and your eyes frozen shut, it would be hard for anyone to have himself or herself be collected with ease. You've lost track of time long ago and just continued to trudge through the knee-deep snow, you assumed it's only been a couple of hours but for all
you knew, it could be days or minutes.

The moment you realized you were no longer wandering in a white out, you knew you had crossed the border out of Russia into who-knows-where. The land was quite pretty and easy on the eye, there didn't seem to be a hint of civilization close to the border though.

'I guess this is far enough away…'

Meandering up a small hill, you've already grown accustom to the surroundings. It was so calm and only a few clouds drifted lazily in the sky, you could hear faint chirping of birds all around you. You could tell it was late afternoon judging by how the sun was becoming an orange hue, your eyebrows raised when you thought about seeing the sunset at the top of this hill.

But soon frowned when you noticed the hill wasn't as small as you thought out to be… It was more like climbing a mountain rather, hoping it would be worth the trouble, you scaled the last couple of feet and, even though a little winded, you were in awe.
Standing at the top of the mini-summit, you found a large, sturdy apple tree with a few rotten apples scattered about, and an amazing view. You felt as though you were at the highest point of this land, gazing at all the fields and a few small creeks, large mountains in the distance and more forest.

You took a step back and sat down, reclining into the apple tree. 'This seems like a nice place…' you closed your eyes and after taking a break for a while, you had just started to become aware of the horrible feeling in your chest.
You hated to admit it but you knew ignoring it would come back to bite you. You placed a hand over your heart and clenched up the fabric of your shirt, every heartbeat was a new wave of agony, with eyes still closed, you gritted your teeth and reflected the past couple of days.

-Flashback-

"Alright, where to start…" you sighed and fiddled with your hands a little bit, "You know, don't you Gilbert?"

His eyes narrowed, "Know what?"

"That I'm not…normal. Not a human, correct?"

He shifted his gaze awkwardly and placed a hand under his chin, "Ja, I had my assumptions."

You sighed and decided it was now or never; spilling the beans to Gilbert was like slowly giving a small child a ticket to Disney World or something. His eyes grew bigger each word you spoke and his mouth hung open making him look more stupid than he actually is.

"Wait, so you're actually a… a …."

"Yes, I am." Not wanting him to say it anymore you quickly cut him off.

"So, what does this have to do with your engagement?"

"To be honest, it's not exactly revolved around that. It just happens to be one of the many obstacles I've dug my grave in." Gilbert watched as you stiffened and your face grew cold.

"But, about last year, in three weeks to be exact. I let Ivan get captured by an old acquaintance of mine and I was desperate for any sort of help. So, just like any other situation, I ran to the kasha .

"Ivan had been held in captivity for a long time and I would have done anything to get him back. Even," you paused and looked down, "even if it means giving up any chances of happiness."

Gilbert's look of wonder dropped drastically, "What? What do you mean?!"
You took in a deep breath, "Every demons ultimate goal is to become stronger and please their ruler. Satan. Satan is the most powerful and he's also known as the Devil. I'm sure you've heard of him.

"Anyway, Satan grants them the strength they want but they can only receive it by presenting a suitable soul to him. This is why some of us are possessed and followed by these evil creatures. Their purpose is to somehow persuade and make a deal with the human they chose, a contract for power.

"Because in the end, that's the only thing that anybody really wants. To be strong and able to protect yourself or others; I gave up my soul for the full strength from the kasha, and
after you seal the deal, you only have one year to walk the Earth."

By now, Gilbert had straightened up and leaned a bit, "And then where do you go?"

"Hell. You work for Satan and every other year he deems one of his workers eligible for one wish." You hadn't realized how tight you had been holding your own hands, they were really clammy and your knuckles were an unhealthily looking white.

Gilbert leaned back and looked at the ceiling, "I see. Does Ivan know?"

You shook your head sheepishly, "I don't think I could ever tell him. I don't want him to worry, you know?"

"Ja, I know exactly what you mean. But, what're you gonna do now?"
You were afraid he would ask that, "I have to…" you hesitated, "I have to severe all ties with Ivan."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Break up with him and call off the marriage." The words all came out so fast you had no

time to stop yourself. 'Dammit.'

Gilbert continued to stare at the ceiling but gripped the arm of his chair, "Why are you telling me this…?"

"Because I need a reason for running off. Would you please pretend as if we were in love with each other? I mean, I like you, of course I do! But it's not the same as Ivan do you understand this? So there's no confusion…"  They came out a lot less awkward in your head
but it was too late.

"Ja, I got it." You cringe, you could tell he wasn't too thrilled about this scheme and you began to feel a little sick yourself.

"I'm sorry to make you do this Gil, I really am. But I didn't know who else…"
Gilbert released his grip and stood, his hair hiding his face, "It's fein." He muttered, not looking at you.

'Shit, I made him mad.'

Returning shortly with a beer in hand, Gilbert took a long gulp of the amber liquid and finally spoke while looking you in the eyes, "Listen [___]," he said with an out of character serious tone, "I get what you're trying to do. Believe me, I do. But really, all you're doing is running away." You opened your mouth to protest but he held up a hand, "I know, I know. It's unfair of me to speak so brash but we both know it's the truth."

You frowned as he took another swig from the bottle, "It may look like that to somebody who isn't fully involved but, I think it's better to lose somebody you hate rather than lose someone you love." You stated.

Gilbert only shook his head, "Whatever [___]."

"So, are you going to help me or not?"

"I'll help but that doesn't mean I'm completely on board with it."

"That's fine…" 'Ugh, what's his problem?' you shoved your hand deep into your coat pocket,
fingertips just barely grazing the letter. 'I forgot I even had this… oh well, might as well
give it to him, I guess.' "Oh and Gil?"

"Hm?"

"Here," you tentatively handed the envelope to him, "give this to Ivan when you feel it is
the right time, okay?"

Gilbert squinted at it but nonetheless placed it on his mess of a desk, "sure."

-End of Flashback-

'Ah!' Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes and blinked, 'I must have fallen asleep…' It was starting to get dark but the sun was still up and looking pretty red.

"Looks like Japan's sun," you muttered to yourself. Pulling your knees up to your chin you resumed fetal position. "I wonder how Ivan is doing… damn," you didn't mean to say his name out loud or even think about him.

'I don't care, I don't care, I don't care…' attempting to convince yourself only made you feel worse. 'I don't care what he does or how he feels… right?' you looked up and inhaled a very shaky breath.

You felt the tears trickle down your face, "I shouldn't be crying," you spoke hoarsely only to taste the salty liquid through gritted teeth. The more you tried to hold them in, the more they poured out and your mouth began to quiver.

'If I don't care, then why? Why does it hurt so much?!' your ribs hurt so much from the muffled sobs, your hands woven together shook uncontrollably, all the memories you and Ivan shared suddenly came flooding into your mind as if to taunt you.

"Argh… Dammit!" You quickly stood and slammed a fist into the apple tree, rotten apples fell everywhere, the branches shook and leaves fluttered to the ground. Your eyes darted around seeking for any witnesses of this pathetic scene, your shoulders matching your breathing pattern as you took deep, raggedy breaths.

You looked down at your hands and gasped.

The transition was beginning.

'Sh-shit! I'm not ready!'

You moved past your hands to your feet, and watched as sickly looking rose vines grew from the ground and wrapped around your ankles.

"Ah! N-no!" You swiped at them only to have your hand go right through as if they were air. You've seen this happen to many people before, watched as they flailed around in fear and have their own souls be ripped from them; it always looked so painful.

Accepting defeat, you let the thorny plant continue to grow up your legs, pricking into your skin.

"Even when I go to Hell," you spoke only to yourself, "I swear, I'll come back. I'll beat that jackass Satan and get my wish. I SWEAR IT!" You grabbed a nearby rock and began to carve your initials into the tree.

"Heh. I'll be back. Just you wait."

And with that, the vines pierced through your body causing you to jerk back. You felt them probing your insides, searching for your heart. Hacking up some blood, you remembered all the children that used to come to the daycare back in Japan.

When they died, the demon would just drag their souls down with them. 'There's no such thing as a happy ending with people like us.' You collapsed to your knees as you felt yourself pretty much being eaten alive from the inside out.

You suddenly felt a pressure specifically in your chest. 'Ah, they found it.'

"Hrk!" You sucked in a harsh breath but there was no time for a reaction as the ground beneath you crumbled away. Below, you could only see darkness as you fell.

Deeper.

….

..

And deeper.


(Sorry for interrupting, but, listen to this song just as you begin to read the rest of the story!! >> www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIGf0X… will make everything so much better!)



The annual World Meeting is coming up and all countries are required to attend. Making it inevitable that Ivan and Gilbert will most likely have to see each other. At the moment, everything is unstable, the Baltics, Katyusha, and Natalia have all returned back to Ivan's house whether it was by force or not.

Russia's relationships with America and China have gone way downhill because of Ivan's personal affairs. He has separated himself from the Allies and refuses to help unless there is a bountiful gain.

As an overall, Ivan has returned to how he was in the past, cold and malicious. His cruelty knows no bounds as he invades Poland whenever he feels like it, controls the nations in his home with fear and tyranny.

Because of the always-present aura around the country, everyone is a lot more wary around Ivan and they always think before they speak with him. Alfred was hospitalized for two weeks for even mentioning your name; Natalia was locked out of the house for three days when she spoke of marriage.

The conference was increasingly uncomfortable as everybody could already feel the tension when Ivan and Gilbert had to sit across from each other. Nobody dared even glance in the general direction of their clashing glares.

Gilbert remained unusually quiet through out the entire gathering as Ivan glowered at him. The Prussian fumbled with your letter knowing it was only a month away when you said you would supposedly return.

A couple hours later and everyone was dismissed and were go back to their respected homes.

"Oi, Russia." Gilbert's recognizable voice sounded over the crowded hallway bustling with countries hurrying to get home. Ivan ignored him and continued to the exit. "Russia!" This time Gilbert caught up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Ivan turned slowly, with an irritated look, "can I help you?"

Gilbert scrunched his face up in disgust and looked off to the side, 'bastard! He doesn't deserve this!' "I have something to give you." Reaching into his pocket, he held out an envelope with Ivan written on it in your handwriting.

Ivan recognized it immediately and snatched the paper from Gilbert, turned away and stalked off.

"Ja, well, you're welcome asshole!" Gilbert called out to him.

As he got home, Ivan locked himself in his study. 'Is this really… is this really from [___]?' nimbly tearing open the wrapping a sunflower petal fell out. Ivan picked it up daintily and stared it. He then pulled out a piece of paper with words scrawled all over it in pen. Ivan cautiously opened the- note hoping it wasn't some awful trick from Gilbert- and began to read.

Ivan,

If you're reading this letter, Gilbert actually gave you this and I'm going to have to kick his ass.

But in all seriousness, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to end like this and I'm not actually with Gilbert. Yeah… I didn't really run away with him that night. I just thought it would be easier for you to lose someone you hated rather than loved.

And you may still hate me, which is fine, that's what I wanted… Well, actually, it's not what I wanted. It's what I needed, not wanted.

Because, to be honest, I still want you to love me and no matter what the reason, I will always love you. It's true, you were one of the few people that actually listened to me and worried for me.

Thank you.

This might be meaningless now, but I'm so, so, sorry. I broke a very important promise between us… I lied and said I would stay with you forever and I did, I really did want to be with you so I lied. Damn… I'm such a hypocrite.

I'm sorry again, for hurting you. I wanted to marry you so bad it hurts. Even if it might not be possible, to start a family with you would be the one of the best things in my
life.

So, I hope somewhere in your heart, you can forgive me and move on.

Please be happy wherever you are. Please, I'm begging you.

Find happiness.

In all honesty, I will never regret loving you. Ever. You've given me the ability to smile and laugh again; I can't thank you enough.

To be able to kiss you,

To hug you,

Or even just to hold your hand.

You have no idea how badly I wish to do these things everyday. To simply be graced with your presence just one more time would be enough.

Sorry, I'm rambling, but like I said before, I want you to be happy. I don't care how or with whom, just be happy and live your immortal life with no regrets.

It's okay to forget about me if that's what it takes to move on, I swear it.

I love you so much I'm crying as I write this…

Thank you.

Love, [___]
Ivan stared at the paper in disbelief. Tears running down his face as he reached down and opened a desk drawer. It held a picture of you and your necklace. He found it earlier when he went to clean out the bedroom but ended up not, simply because it was too painful.
Ivan placed the pendant on his desk and picked up the photograph, for the first time, he managed to get a picture of you smiling. Cradling it close to his chest, he allowed himself to weep.

Cry all the feelings he's locked up in his heart. Each tear that fell, every breath he took, it was all too much.

"Я тебя люблю, [___], Я тебя люблю." Attempting to wipe away all the tears escaping as he
sobbed like a child.

I love you too. And someday, I know we'll meet again.